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I’m not drunk, I’m just exhausted from drinking all night.
Life is what happens when your cell phone is charging.
State of mind is in no mind to state its state of mind.
People that say “money doesn’t buy happiness” obviously have never been divorced.
I bought one of the "Books for Dummies" for 50% off, but I needed help to figure out what the price was.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
I love it when the person’s laugh is funnier than the actual joke.
Coffee is just a hug for your insides.
If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it`s considered responsible. But if you do that with your gf, it`s called "cheating."
I always say, your laundry is never completely done, unless you do it in the nude. Which probably explains the strange looks at the laundrymat this afternoon.
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
I wish I was Robinson Cruso. Coz, I can have `Friday` everyday :) TGIF guys..cheers ;)
can´t find Sesame Street on my GPS. Can you tell me how to get there?
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.