Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If your dog takes a dump on your floor and you clean it up, who owns who??
If you watch Intervention backwards, it`s about a person partying hard after an awful family reunion.
I keep forgetting how bad my memory has become
is frickin awesome! Nough Said.
Every now and then when I`m in a room alone I say out loud, "I know you`re listening". If I`m wrong, nobody knows. If I`m right, I just freaked the hell out of some guy.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
I’m glad MTV has shows like Teen Mom 3 so girls have good role models besides Miley.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
Just saw a homeless dude with a sign reading "Hungry Hungry Hobo"... I shouldn`t laugh right?
If your parachute doesn`t deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .
I bet the Fantastic 4 were just pretending to have a girl in the group. "Uh yeah she`s just invisible right now. She`s totally real though."