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That`s not how I met your mother.
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
I`m not lazy I just really enjoy doing nothing!!
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
It`s only a 4 way stop if each driver can read
Why haven’t we just found someone ballsy enough to dress up as Mrs Bigfoot and catch him already?
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
Yes, autocorrect, that`s right. I hate that stupid ditch
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
Let`s drink till this day makes some sort of sense.
The guy that discovered milk.. What did you tell your friends were you doing to that cow? O_o
I had a bit of a lazy day sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online. My boss was furious.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.
I hate it when people tell me I look young for my age because it implies my age is old.