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Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
Every time i see a person kneeling over tying their shoe, i run up behind them and hop over them to try and get a game of leapfrog going.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
I wonder if people without dogs actually pick food off the floor?
Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don`t have long.
It`s kill or be killed. Or eat a sandwich. Maybe go for a light jog. Draw a picture of a duck. There are a lot of options out there.
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
Trust me... You don`t want my undivided attention.
Gently placing your finger on someone’s lips and saying, “Shh, not another word,” is super romantic but cops don’t seem to think so.
Bitch, I grew up on the streets!!...Yes, it was Sesame
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.
How can you tell if someone went to the gym? Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
You know what’s funny? Lots of sh!t so lighten the f*ck up.
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.