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A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other 49 percent didn`t answer the phone.
My dream job would be the Karma delivery service
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
Love is... saving money to buy her shoes!
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you, would actually kill me
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
I`d like to share my innermost thoughts and feelings with all of you, but I`m afraid they`ll be used against me in court someday.
You can always tell a lot about a woman the way she pours gasoline around your car.
I don`t feel like folding the laundry, so I just restart the dryer
I`ve spotted six Pokémon today but I don`t have the game so I may need new meds...
I like to walk up to strangers and ask, "Would you take a photo of me?" If they say yes I hand them a photo of me and walk away.
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?