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Which wine goes best with more wine?
Damn boy! Are you a slinky? Cause I wanna wanna push you down a flight of stairs, then kick you when you stop halfway to the bottom.
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
There`s no time like the present to make a positive change in your life ... or to take a nice nap
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
Scientists have discovered that at least 50 percent of fat people’s BMI is made up of excuses...
Does anyone know when is the cut-off date to stop wishing someone Happy New Years?
Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap.
I think that work and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes.
I`ve totally cut carbs out of my diet. Until lunch.
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(
The longer a Woman takes to get ready, the easier it is to piss her off.. it`s Science
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks