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Remember the days when water was free and you had to pay for porn?
To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
We should not have trusted anything Charlotte wrote in her web. She was consistently talking out of her ass.
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
It would be great if there was an app that deletes your phone number from other people`s phones.
The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
Why are you walking away when we`re in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! ... At least give me your number!
Kinda hard to believe not a single mutant at professor Xavier’s school had the power to heal a dude’s legs.
A revolving door is an IQ test you can fail in public.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.