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Inside me is a skinny person screaming to get out. But he shuts up when I eat cake.
New Years Eve. It takes 24,367 bolts to put a car together and only 1 nut to spread it all over the road, please don`t drink and drive and become the nut
The best things in life are free, but they still screw you on shipping.
Happy Labor Day to someone who barely labored this year.
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
How do they fit all that money inside such a tiny credit card??
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, “well that’s not going to happen.”
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
You say hangover. I say out of booze.