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I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
It`s so cold Miley Cyrus got her toungue stuck on her wrecking ball
I was halfway to the state line before I realized the sirens were part of the song that was playing
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
I`m afraid to hug fat girls....what if they`re hungry?
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
Gym update: not there
Warning: I just get weirder.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
I bought a huge plastic Christmas tree today! the shop assistant asked me if I was going to put it up myself? I told him "Don`t be stupid, i`m gonna put it in the lounge room"
I honestly have a fear that one day I`ll leave my house and not be wearing any pants!
A group of toddlers is called a migraine
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
I bet if you look up dictionary in the dictionary it says "don`t be an a$$hole"
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.