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A good husband is like a bra. He should be supportive and help support your burdens, but mostly he`s just there to touch your boobs.
ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
Pinatas are a great way to teach children that if you repeatedly beat something with a stick, eventually you’ll get what you want.
Exercise... the poor person`s plastic surgery
Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
I`m pretty sure if you watched a movie of my life backwards it probably would be about a guy who refills beer cans and puts them in the fridge.
What doesn`t kill you, makes you stronger... except for lions, lions will definitely kill you.
I will probably die as a result of being sarcastic to the wrong person at the wrong time.
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.