Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive.
I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
If doing things was as easy as thinking about doing things I’d get a lot more done.
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
!f yhu T@k yk d!$, then dont talk to me.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
Whenever I weigh myself, I always subtract 10 pounds. I don`t think boobs, brains, and an ass this fabulous should count against me.
There are two types of people in this world: people who pee in the shower and liars.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
I wonder if tap dancers walk into a room, look at a floor and think, "I`d so tap that."
I got food poisoning today. I don`t know when I`ll use it though.