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Before the internet I used to like people.
At hotels, you can either take a helicopter tour of the city or drink the bottle of water on the table. They cost the same.
Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
Teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups because they literally can`t even.
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke.
Half the time spent on Facebook is likely spent by creeping people and /or staring at the screen waiting for something interesting to happen.
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
I admit ive been known to wrap bacon in bacon just for the extra bacon flavor
The hardest things about beginning any new relationship has got to be learning how to fart quietly again.
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!
"I can`t wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver