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Driving with your gas tank door open is the equivalent to having your zipper down.
I`m in a good place right now. Not emotionally....just that I`m at the liquor store.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
Does anyone else make transformer noises when changing sex positions? Asking for a friend.
If something on this page offends you, please bring it to our attention so we can all laugh at you.
My daughter is worse than a twitter newbie.. She manually Retweets everything I say... To my wife!
If god can artificially inseminate someone, why did he need two of every animal on the ark to repopulate the world?
Found out today you cannot join a gym "just to watch".
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
It`s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side, my roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.
Nice try speed bumps, it`s a rental.
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
If your bf/gf tries to start a fight with you just say, "Please. Not during Toyotathon."