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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
Not to cause a panic but i`m starting to think we`re running out of things to stuff inside pizza crust.
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
The first sign of laziness:
Just one more drink and then I`m outta here" is one of my favorite lies.
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
No Shirt No Shoes No Service. What about pants?
Sometimes I can’t remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines…I totally get it.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can change your relationship status... After 3 it should default to "Unstable"
When I`m home alone and I walk into the basement, I start talking out loud about all the karate I know.
The trick is not let anyone know how really weird you are until it’s too late to back out.
People will believe anything if you whisper it.
You`re only young once but you can be immature forever!
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…