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Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
The best job ever? Sleeping Beauty at Disney World. You just lay down all day. If anyone bothers you, it`s like excuse me, I`m working here.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
I saw a girl being irresponsible texting while driving and it really ticked me off.....So I rolled down my window and threw my beer at her.
The only way I know if I’ve bought enough beer is if my car thinks I have a passenger.
I don`t like people who can`t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Facebook. “…you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave…”
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
Don`t ask me what I did today, neither of us want to hear it out loud.
I`m on that “Starts tomorrow” diet.
When you introduce clapping to your dancing you might probably be too old to be in a night club at 1am.
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."