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People should mute themselves on conference calls when they are crossing a battlefield and killing enemies to get to the next level.
I bet more people would call the Gambling Addicts Helpline if they made every 5th caller a winner.
I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
It may not look like it, but I`m actually very handsome.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
Monday must be a man ... It comes too quickly.
How many boxes of these Thin Mints do I need to eat before I start seeing results?
Some people just lack the ability to realize that everyone in the room wants them to shut up.
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
I get as much action as a white crayon.
If I can`t convince you, I will sure as hell confuse you.
Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
My dad use to take me to the circus to see the clowns, freakshows and the bearded lady. Now... I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart.