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If you`re going to be a d!ck.. At least be a big one.
Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
So the other day a girl asked me to Facebook her, needless to say she wasn`t to happy after I hit her in the face with a book
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
Light travels faster than sound. That`s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
It`s not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
What scares me most is that some people think I actually know what Iām doing.
My boss acts like during March Madness is the only time we`re less productive. Its cute
New marital Status update : Taken, but only for GRANTED
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.