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I don`t go to bars anymore, but I miss some things about it. So sometimes I wait outside my bathroom for 15 minutes when I`m dying to pee.
Behind every beautiful song is a person who really shouldn`t sing it out loud in public
Would you like to donate $1 to this charity or leave the checkout line feeling like human scum?
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
*Australian accent* Notice the wife in her natural habitat shaming the male husband species into doing what she wants!
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
I love how television has redefined the word `marathon` to the exact opposite of physical exercise
I’m so old, I can remember going through a whole day without taking a picture of anything.
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.
It`s not stalking if you love them!
Shaving your head is the "You can`t fire me because i quit" approach to male pattern baldness.
It`s not you, it`s me. I can`t stand you.