Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
And we all have that one friend who has more blonde moments than an actual blonde.
I recently took up meditation. It beats sitting around doing nothing.
I like when videogames limit how many things you can hold. "You have 100 items in an invisible bag. Carrying another would be unrealistic"
I`m not saying I hate you, but I`d unplug your life support to charge my phone.
I think today I`ll stalk my stalker, just to shake things up a little.
Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns ... It`s a play on words.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
These spaghetti-o`s taste like I don`t get paid until tomorrow.
I really like that machine at the gym where you put money into it and snacks come out.
My brain has too many tabs open.
If you can`t read the bottom of the eye chart, spell something dirty. Eye doctors love that sh!t.
A week is just five days of wishing you had nothing to do followed by two days of wishing you had something to do
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
My boyfriend isn`t allowed to break up with me. You wanna see other people? Look out the window.