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Note to Denver Broncos: Marijuana is NOT a performance enhancing drug!
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
The United States is probably the only country in the world where people need energy drinks to sit in front of a computer all day.
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
Wouldn`t it be ironical to die in a living room?
If these people don’t start giving better advice, I’m no longer going to allow them in my head.
The worst part of Aquaman`s day has to be, when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal.
Have you ever been cutting a piece of pager with scissors and worried that you might cut an atom in half and destroy the world?
u cant spell awesome without me
I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.
The Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria`s secret around the house.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
If your cat has a Facebook page, we can`t be friends.
It`d be nice if the married people would leave some of the single people for the rest of the single people.
They say you can tell how someone has sex by how they dance…. So ladies be prepared for a lot of counting and clapping.