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Nothing shuts my pie hole more than an actual pie.
World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I`d go watch some of my single friends at the bar.
FYI : My post aren`t directed at anyone in particular...so should anyone be offended by them, I say if the shoe fits ... Wear It!!!!!
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
My new home security sign : "EBOLA QUARANTINE" - Deters salesman, thieves, and neighbors.
to do list: buy a parrot. teach the parrot to say, "Help!! I`ve been turned into a parrot!"
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
I hate it when I`m singing a song and the artist keeps messing up the words.
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
Lawns: You cut them, then water them so they grow just so you can cut them again. This does not make sense.
If he`s dumb enough to send you a generic message in a mass text...be smart enough to reply to all "I still haven`t gotten my period."
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.