Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
I keep myself in just good enough shape to outrun most women and small children during emergencies.. :|
Attention burglars: We may or may not be home. Or maybe we are hunters, waiting for you to get closer for a kill shot
My kids don`t even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I`m trying to say is, you look like Shrek.
Same sex marriage? Heck, I know couples who would be happy with a SOME sex marriage
Who decided to call the man purse a satchel and not a douchebag?
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
For the life of me, I can’t understand why small and medium pizzas exist.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
Ladies, don`t date him just because his dad has a yacht. Date the dad.
Whoever said paper beats rock is an idiot. Next time that happens, I`m gonna throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.