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All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
The toughest part of a job interview is finding the exact right moment to go in for the kiss.
If suppositories were just a bit smaller, they would be a whole lot easier to swallow...........................
Oh you`re in the shower? Here`s the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
(Apocalyptic world) "Well guys......there goes our last female"
Who ever said, "The customer is always right", clearly never worked with the public a day in their life.
I was told that I had an alcohol problem, but I think me and Captain Morgan have it figured out..
The synonym for `reality` is `offline`
At the urinal, please keep your eyes forward and your conversations limited to weather, sports or beer.
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
I wish people would stop judging me before they find out how much of an a$$hole I actually am.
Someone invited me to their dog`s birthday party on Saturday. What a freak! I am NOT coming to your dog`s birthday party! Besides, my cat is getting married that weekend!