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Just like our bodies, our minds need exercise. That`s why I think of jogging every morning.
Got bored today so I dressed up in tan pants and a blue shirt then went into Best Buy and quit.
My best childhood memory was falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed…. I miss teleporting. It never happens to me anymore.
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
When I asked if you had protection, pepper spray isn’t what I meant.
I hate when I`m about to hug somebody really sexy and my face hits the mirror!!
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
Facebook should have an "I`ve seen enough" button.
New Study: Long-term beer drinking can lead to depression, also known as "running out of beer."
Why do they call it "Jew-ish"? Are they not Jew enough?
What`s with this `running with scissors` bullsh!t? Why would you run with scissors? Are you that excited to cut paper?