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Modern video games are giving kids unrealistic standards of how many swords they can carry at one time.
People that walk behind cars get exhausted
If a bra is called an `over the shoulder bolder holder`, then what would you call men underwear? Under the butt nut hut
Why I stay slim? I once was forced to pay for two plane tickets, one for a person who wasn`t travelling with me. That`s why.
I have an irrational fear of speedbumps… but, I’m slowly getting over it.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
Own the day
I’m taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
Just spent 20 minutes on the treadmill without breaking into a sweat......tomorrow I might even switch it on!
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
Sometimes my sarcasm is so intense that even I’m not sure if I’m kidding or not.
Don`t judge a man by how low his pants hang below his a$$...just kidding, that`s a great reason to judge someone.
Meaningless statistics are up 17% today
Sexual education classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours straight while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!