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I shouldn`t play with Legos!? It says "Ages 7 & Up". 30 is higher than 7. Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
I did absolutely nothing today and did it well!!!
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
Did you know that running for just 10 minutes a day raises your risk of posting inspirational quotes by 63%?
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you
I would lose weight, but I hate losing..
What`s cardio, and can I eat it?
Walmart does not have a dildo section. But it`s always fun to ask their employees if they do.
My New Years Eve = Hangover 4
My insomnia is getting worse. I was wide awake all day at work yesterday.
I’m amazed by how quickly I forget what I’m doing.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
If I didn’t drink, how would my friends know I loved them at 2AM?
How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but the more important question is, how did they get in there in the first place?