Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
wondering if today is a good day to implement my plan...
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
Apologizing for canceling a meeting is like saying sorry for buying me a beer.
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
I don`t understand why Walmart has a problem with me bringing my dog in the store. He`s better behaved, smells better, and less likely to take a crap on the floor than 95% of the people here
Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.
I don’t think girls realize how handsome my mom says I am.
Make Monday More Fun: Unplug the copier at work and put a sign on it that says “Now Voice Activated!” Sit back and watch the magic unfold..
Next time a conspiracy theorist says, "That`s what they want you to think," say, "No, but that`s what they wanted you to tell me."
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
Just saw a car at McDonalds take 4 tries to get lined up in a parking space. I`m not judgmental, so I won`t assume what sex she was.
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
I guess I prefer Subway because they make me feel like I`m making the healthy decision when I order a loaf of bread with 18 meatballs on it.
Ghetto Word of the Day: Window "Imma pay my baby mamma her child support. I just don’t know window".
I already know that I`m going to hell ... At this point it`s really go big or go home.