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Facebook game requests are like the Jehovah`s witnesses of the internet.
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
People always get offended when you call their baby ugly, but they never understand that they`ve offended you by showing you an ugly baby.
Thank you for informing me that you have a stick figure family of 6 and a dog. Your minivan had me under the impression that you were wild and single.
If you go shopping at Walmart and no one stares at you as you walk by, you`re one of them.
The truth is, men put the lids on jars that tight so you’d need us, we’re not that stupid.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
I hope to get to the point in my life where I’m not excited about finding change on the ground.
Hating people takes too much energy. I just pretend they`re dead
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
Every family has a plastic bag full of plastic bags.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don’t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.