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Ah Friday my second favorite F Word
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
I want my next girl to be crazy but more "Lets have sex in public" crazy rather than "I throw hot coffee in your face" crazy.
The more I drink, the more I realize how much more I still want to drink.
If my sarcasm confuses you it`s because you`re stupid.
Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "AND, you live next door."
Just noticed there`s no comma in "Bed Bath & Beyond" and honestly, a bed bath would solve a lot of my problems.
justin bieber
I already want to take a nap tomorrow.
Why do cops get mad when other cops have jurisdiction over a case? I`d be like cool I`m going home to eat.
Waterfalls are a beautiful, majestic sight as they pour down upon the rocky crags below. Unless you`re in a canoe and about to plummet to your death. Then waterfalls sorta suck.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.