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If Miley doesn`t get her sh!t together, all these Hannah Montana collectibles are never gonna get my kids through college.
United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.
*accidentally answers phone call* ... *pretends to be answering machine*
I bet Hell is sitting in front of every person you know while a slideshow of all of your deleted selfies is played on a loop.
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
You`re never too old to learn stupid sh!t
Is somebody not editing what I´m saying here???
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
I’m amazing in bed. I have the ability to stay there all day.
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
My mother said, "You won`t amount to anything because you procrastinate." I said, "Oh ya.....Just you wait."
If I had a British accent, I`d never shut up.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.
I`m great at balloon animals. You should see my eel, snake, and worm.