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We are so fortunate not to live in China, they have to hide their posts in cookies.
My New Year`s resolution for 2014 is to do something about my procrastination.
I`d rather spend 5 minutes reorganizing the dishwasher, than spend the 10 seconds it takes to wash the dish that doesn`t fit.
I`m lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
Shall I compare thee to a Summer`s Eve? For thou art a douche.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
You are not stupid, I just think you have bad luck when thinking.
Every snack you make, every meal you bake, every bite you take, I`ll be watching you. - Dog
Just found out my birthday is the same day I was born... Life is crazy...
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
Mirrors don`t lie. Lucky for you, they don`t laugh either.
No matter how nice I ask random people, nobody will take me to Funkytown.