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ALCOHOL - Because no good story ever started with someone drinking a glass of orange juice.
They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
This Donut-Scented Car Air Freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
The filling in this fortune cookies tastes like paper...
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
I really don`t need to be loved.. I would settle for being tolerated. :)
Congrats on winning an argument with your woman...... Your prize is a night on the couch.
When I`m bored, I send a random text to a random number saying "I hid the body... now what?"
If someone tells you "it`s better than sex" they`re not doing the sex right.
This weekend, a woman in colorado gave birth inside a Wal Mart. Apparently, its the first thing found in a Wal Mart not made in China.
If you cannot FACE your problem, then the problem is your FACE.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!