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I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn’t reach very far.
I`d hate to be a dragon .....I`d get so pissed tryin to blow out my birthday candles.
If you see someone wearing camouflage clothing, bump into them. It only takes a second of your time & it makes them feel like it works.
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
Whoever invented self checkout greatly overestimated the general intelligence of the human race.
Life was much easier when apples and blackberries were fruits&& not phones
The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
My kids are giving all the people on this airplane a hard lesson in birth control right now.
I don’t like country music, but I don’t mean to denigrate those who do... And for those who like country music, denigrate means ‘to speak badly of`.
Hey Monday+?+(???) +?+
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh
My therapist says I`m a clueless, un-observant trainwreck. Which is weird because up until this moment, I never even knew he was a therapist.
Bring a side? Like, of alcohol?