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I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
I`ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
"I`m $50 away from getting free shipping which is only $5 and what I want is $12 so I need to spend $38 more to save money." -my brain
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
That awkward moment when your parents don’t appreciate the hilarious child they have.
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed. ;)
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
As soon as you think “maybe I can get up early and just finish it tomorrow” you’ve already lost.
Very little scares me. So does very big.
I may not be the only egomaniac around here, but I’m the only one that matters.