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Some people might as well post ‘Wants Attention’ as their Facebook status.
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
Sluts are just hookers with no grasp of economics.
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
We all have faults. It`s just that mine are better than yours.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
I can`t help but feel insulted when that voice on the speaker calls me a Walmart shopper.
You know it’s cold outside when you go outside and it’s cold.
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 10% of battery remaining.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
My new dating profile just says "I`m tired of masturbating."
If a group of midgets performed the YMCA song, it is to be considered that they did it in lowercase?
Don`t cry because it`s over. Smile because it happened. -Me, to my empty pizza box
The other night, I posted on Facebook I was going to sleep shirtless. The next day I logged on and saw 7 mosquitoes "like" this.