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The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
It`s a little disappointing when you`re watching a school basket ball game & no one turns into a werewolf.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
Why would you be scared to get Ebola? You haven`t left your couch since 2011.
Paying bills is fun and easy when you have a bottle of wine and a shredder.
That`s a lot of selfies for someone that claims to be emotionally stable
It`s time to wave goodbye to winter. Guess what finger I`ll be using?
Ironing boards are just surf boards that gave up their dreams and got real jobs.
To skip any youtube ad just change ‘youtube’ to ‘youtubeskip’ in the url of any video. You’re welcome.
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
Don`t get me wrong, Chinese food is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe that a chicken fried this rice.
When we married, she treated me like a God. As time went by, the letters got reversed