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Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
If you hold out your arms like Frankenstein when walking in a leg brace, people let you cut in line at Starbucks.
A handshake means something completely different to a cannibal.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
Not sure if my dog is barking for no reason or I’m about to be murdered.
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
Best grilled cheese ever!! All I did was add a hamburger patty.
Help keep America beautiful. Stay in your house today.
Just once, I`d like to clock out from work by sliding down a dinosaur.
uncle Sam can`t be related to me because family wouldn`t do me like this.
Of course China is dominating the olympics, they probably made all of the equipment.
My most heavily used kitchen appliance is a fire extinguisher.