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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
My New Year`s resolution is to spend more time wishing my enemies were dead.
An awkward morning beats a boring night.
If anyone asks, I`m drinking all this wine to collect corks for a pinterest project.
I`m an outdoorsy kind of guy, I like to drink beer outdoors
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
If you`re going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon.
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore.
I only seem to remember I want to lose weight after eating 6 cookies.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
Online personality tests are pretty self-explanatory… If you’re taking the test, chances are you don`t have one.
I`m fairly certain that kids only have ears for decorative purposes.
I’m off for a quiet beer. Followed by fourteen noisy ones.
The older I get, the more I understand someone`s desire to just say-"F*ck it. I`m going to be drunk all the time & live under this bridge."