Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When a guy texts a girl “hey stranger”, what he really means is “I’ve recently thought about trying to get in your pants again.”
You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
According to Pinterest, I`m severely under-utilizing mason jars.
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
Have you ever wondered about the look on someone`s face if you hide under their bed and grab their foot in the middle of the night? Just something to think about.....goodnight!
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
You know who your true friends are when they call you at 3AM just to tell you they love you and that their drunk...
The only reason I offer to be the designated driver is so people will get used to seeing me load lifeless bodies into my car.
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
Starbucks isn`t really that expensive compared to how much Victoria`s Secret charges per cup.
I thought 50 shades of gray was just a makeup application guide for goth chicks