Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
I hope these bad jokes distract you from the fact you`re getting screwed. - Car insurance commercials
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Birth Control Pills should be for men. It makes much more sense to unload a gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.
Dating someone solely on their looks is shallow. Consider other things such as how much money they have.
That amazing moment when you smack the remote and it actually works!
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
you know it`s a good fart when it wakes you from a dead sleep and you pull a butt muscle at the same time.
All single ladies, stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don’t force an innocent cat to live with you.
I wish people were like Internet videos and you could tap them lightly to see a clock of how much longer they`re going to be talking.
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
When I say "Have a nice day." Remember the f*cker on the end is silent.
I automatically assume you`re fat if your Facebook picture is a car
Today I´m going to entertain the kids with a game of duct, duct, tape.