Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My Wife: Why are you home so early? Me: My boss told me to go to hell
Take your age. Subtract 3. Then add 3. That is your age.
I saw a chameleon today. I guess it was a pretty crappy chameleon.
Selfie... Because it`s important to realize that it`s not the photographer who is making you look ugly.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
Me: "I want to travel more." Bank account: "Like, to the park?"
Have you ever noticed the irony behind “hyphenated” and “non-hyphenated”?
I’ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn’t need my assistance, so I’m going back to bed.
A dozen roses: $12, a box of chocolates: $10, a Happy Valentines Day card: $2, still having $24 dollars because you`re single: priceless!
A show called the view shouldn`t hurt your eyes
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
"User Friendly" is just another way of saying stupid.......
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
Why do people at home on TV have their pants on?