Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Does anyone know where the off switch on a child is? I can’t seem to find it.
I judge how safe an area is by the number of lit letters on the Waffle House sign.
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
Don`t do drugs. Become a Pop star and they give `em to you FOR FREE!
High-five a veteran today.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
My relationship is mostly me apologizing for saying something super bada$$ and hilarious
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
They don`t even serve apples at Applebee`s. Or bees.
Sorry, just got your text. Are we still on for last night?
The best two kinds of beer in this world are....Cold & Free..
Your trophy wife is more of a participation trophy wife, isn`t she?
Trivia - It turns out that Alexander the Great was not all that great. But in those days, nobody had the guts to call him Alexander the SO-SO
To the individual who sat outside in their car, across the street from our house, at 530 am and had Led Zepplens Immigrant Song blaring at full volume, I have one thing to say to you! AWESOME CHOICE DUDE!!!!!!!