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I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!!
I`m not much on seizing the day, I just kinda poke it with a stick.
I`m not as smart as I used to be but then again you can`t stay a teenager all of your life.
Technically, Humpty Dumpty died a crack head
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
I`m for driverless cars, but honestly, having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of sh!t 24/7
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
You can dress for success or undress for it. It depends on what type of work you want.
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
I saw a group of kids trying to put another kid into a dumpster. I had to step in, they couldn`t even lift him.
Happiness comes from within. That`s why it always feels so good to fart.
So there`s a t.v. show called, It`s Me or the Dog?.. I was disappointed to find out its not a game show where people guess who farted