Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Did you ever notice that the doctor’s bill is always a lot more readable than the doctor’s prescription?
If it doesn`t include antidepressants, they shouldn`t call it a Happy Meal.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
I was late to work because I was having car trouble. And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car.
Getting stuff out of my refrigerator is like playing Jenga.
If you didn`t want to be hit with a shovel then you never should have started telling me about your problems.
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
I didn’t give you the finger...you earned it.
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
I wish "You idiot" was an appropriate way to end a work email.
This status update is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror and you would not have been notified.
You know you are in the hood when your portable GPS says “Drive faster and put me under the seat.”
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.