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I`m amazed at how much better my life has been since the iOS 7 update. I bet it would be even better if I owned an iPhone.
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
you know....I must be drop dead sexy because....cashiers are always checking me out….
iOS 8 let`s you passcode lock specific apps? It`s fun imagining how many break ups that will cause.
Wife is out of town until tomorrow night. Anyone wanna come sit on the other end of the sofa and ignore me?
If one of your life goals is to fight with someone about how to load a dishwasher, may I suggest marriage.
In my defense, it was a fantastic idea at 3am...
Stretch pants are like Wonder Bras for your butt cheeks
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
POLITICS; from `poly` meaning `many and `Tics` meaning blood-sucking creatures. Just sayin`
Is it just me or do mirrors look really sexy?
I’m at the age where all my posts start with the phrase “I’m at the age where.”
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.