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Between Criminal Minds, CSI, Law and Order, Castle, and Monk...I am now fairly confident I can get away with pretty much anything.
I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.
They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
I like how flies rub their hands together like tiny criminals
Just took a "Try Me" sticker off one of the plush toys at Wal-Mart and stuck it on a condom box.
Why is it called cat nip and not meowjuana?
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Opening the Tupperware cupboard at home should be regarded as an extreme sport.
I know there are some people we say were dropped on their heads as babies. But there are others that were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall & fell out the window.
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To have a little fun. Jill, the dill, Forgot her pill, And now they have a son.
If you lose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
take a left on crazy, keep going until you hit insane. Follow that down to lunatic, turn right on insomnia, way past retarded and there you are @ my place!
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.