Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
Can`t wait `til I`m old enough to pretend I can`t hear.
The only candy I crush are empty cold ones.
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
Sometimes I`ll catch my reflection in a mirror and I`ll be like, "oh no, that can`t be right."
Apparently putting Alka-Seltzer in my mouth while getting baptized and pretending Iām being possessed by the devil is not funny.
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
So who the heck ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.