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The best neighbors are the ones you never see.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
Kids eat free today? Nice... In that case, I`ll have a water and my son will have the steak and shrimp combo with a kids bud light.
You laugh because I`m different ........... I laugh because I farted.
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
I remember when the internet was two tin cans and a string.
It takes patience to listen, it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.
Today is a great day. The mailman just delivered me an Iron Maiden cassette, which finally fulfills my Columbia House commitment.
Life is like a bowl of soup; you only get blown if you`re hot.
It turns out that 3 is the amount of times you can suck on your dentist`s finger before she stops believing that you`re doing it accidentally.
I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.
Experience is what you get, when you don`t get what you want
M?o?n?, T?u?e?s?, W?e?d?, T?h?u?r?s?, Friday !!!!
I wonder how the Never-ending story is doing.
Just spent a week building a time machine. That’s seven days of my life I’m going to get back.