Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.
The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
I have over 500 facebook friends, and i want to say that i love you all...except for number 376 ..you`re a real a@@hole!!
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure youβre the crazy one.
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
I`m at my best mathematically when I wake up before the time my alarm is set for
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But add me on Facebook and I`ll stalk you (maybe)
The bouncer at the club calls me Kevin McAllister because I`m always going home alone
Always finish your beer. There`s sober kids in Africa.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
There`s a sucker born every minute, but swallowers are harder to find.
I dated this musician who used to play songs for me over the phone. Then I realized he was just putting me on hold.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
12 year olds having sex ? Im sorry when i was 12 i was to afraid to pull my foreskin back incase my d*ck fell out.