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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
I was thinking earlier, thats all, just wanted everyone to know that it does happen from time to time........
If she asks what the weight limit is on your ceiling fan.... She`s a keeper!
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
If a girl texts you and asks if you think she`s fat and you try to respond "Nooo" autocorrect changes it to "Moo" so that`s pretty cool.
The right man breaks your headboard, not your heart.
I am not cut out for the CIA. All the opposing side would have to do is tickle me and I’d spill all our nation’s secrets.
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
Falling out of bed the fun way. Oh wait, there isn`t a fun way....
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
I was standing in front of the mirror eariler, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.