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Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
Don`t sweat the small stuff. Don`t sweat the medium or large stuff either. Stop perspiring on everything. Take your sweaty a$$ elsewhere.
How long do I have to sleep before I`m legally a bear?
Damn girl, are you a Snickers bar, because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly hard and ... hold on, are those nuts?
According to a recent survey, 98% of people responded with "Go away."
"The truth shall set you free"....unless you are in court. Then you should probably shut the f*ck up.
So I`m giving up drinking. Hard liquor. On Wednesdays. In June. Next year. (Maybe.)
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
Nice try, St. Patrick`s Day, but I don`t need a reason to drink.
If your problem can`t be solved by me saying "damn" and nodding a lot, then you shouldn`t come to me for help.
Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don`t want to look like a dork.
I don`t need your advice. I do a great job of screwing up my life all by myself, thank you!
There were 2 muffins in a muffin shop the first 1 says "I love being a muffin!" then the 2 muffin says ``Holy crap its a talking muffin!"
WARNING: Every single thing I post from here on in, is alcohol induced.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time