Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
?-- that guy is cute ?
I`m getting all dressed up. Have a feeling I might be on COPS tonight.
It`s a good thing farting isn`t as contagious as yawning.
If you don`t boo at people after bad sex, how do you expect to motivate them to get better?
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I remind myself that you cant always trust Google maps
I always get a nice safe feeling whenever I see a police car and I realize I`m not driving around with a trunkful of cocaine.
We`re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap...
When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it`s like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.
what is the first thing a homeless person does when he`s on a computer? he searches through the recycle bin
I just gave my kid ice cream because she wouldn`t stop crying. Sorry, whoever she winds up marrying.
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
Getting old sucks. I use to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check.
Since everything is closed for Thanksgiving Iām going to drive around and park in all the good spots I never get.
4 out of 5 voices in my head think the other voice is a douche...
USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails.