Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
It’s fun to pull someone’s leg… but don’t ever pull their finger.
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald`s application
You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.
You could give me 45 years to do homework and I still wouldn’t do it until the night before.
I`m sorry if I looked interested. You probably caught me fantasizing about bacon.
Playing dead in the supermarket to avoid having a conversation with someone you know attracts more attention than I anticipated...go figure.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
Parenting gets a lot harder when you can no longer say "I`m calling Santa!"
Friends are like condoms… they protect you when things get hard.
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?
I’m pretty sure I have atleast one anscestor who would be pretty pissed to find out that helicopters exist and I can’t fly one.