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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
I used to work at a fire hydrant factory. I couldn`t park anywhere near the place
Just changed my dating profile headline to: “Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives” …crossing my fingers.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
It`s all fun and games until the cops show up.
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
What’s a drunken pirates worst nightmare? A sunken booty with no chest.
I believe in helping the homeless. That`s why every year I buy a new refrigerator and throw away the box.
My talent is being wasted, if that counts as a talent.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
What is Warm, Soft, Sticky and has a Hole in the middle? It`s a Fresh donut. I was way off on that one!
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
I found a penny today that reminded me of you. Totally worthless and always in a stranger`s pants.
most teens are switching to twitter instead of facebook. noone wants to get on facebook and catch dad pocking mom... if you kno what I mean;)