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So, when is this Old Enough To Know Better thing supposed to kick in?
I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
My wife looks for signs I’m cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?
I don’t understand how people have to “get ready for bed”…I’m always ready for bed.
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
I plucked my first gray hair today ... Man, that lady was upset.
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
I may be delusional but at least I`m going to Mars in November.
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
It`s amazing how much us guys complain about women and then fully trust them with our pen!ses in their mouth.
roses are red, violets are blue, god made everyone beautiful, what the hell happened to you?
I’m not implying you’re stupid. I’m saying it outright. Here, I wrote it in crayon to help you understand.
Babies dont have parents, they have staff.
I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.