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My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.
I think the next Star Wars movie should go Country! I would be excited to see Garth Vader.........
A hospital is the only commercial establishment where the worse service they provide you, the more you`ll come back.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
So many feelings today. Mostly hunger.
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
I`m tired of people assuming I`ve got a good personality because I`m ugly.
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
Whoever said time heals all wounds never had their leg bitten off by a shark.
I`m going to clean my house today and by clean I mean I`m drinking vodka and spraying Febreze everywhere.
When I see someone yawn, I yawn. I wish it was the same with exercising....
I will kill you with kindness even if I have to beat the sh!t out of you.
I bought a little bag of air today, and the company that made it were kind enough to put some potato chips in it.