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My girlfriend said that I should use the term `make love` instead of `f*ck.` What the make love is she talking about?
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
You call it being sober. I call it on my way to the liquor store.
Some people wouldn`t understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
A hard thing about business is minding your own
How about a T.V. show that just explains the backstory on all of the "For External Use Only" warning labels.
After I clear my browser history I do a quick google search for things like "feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving wife"
If a 747 can carry a f*cking space shuttle on its back, I’m calling bullsh!t on an overweight baggage charge.
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
My mother always used to think that my friends were bad influences. ..I wonder if she`s figured out yet that I was the one coming up with all the ideas? ;)
If you’re a millionaire and you don’t have trampoline floors or a giant slide that goes from your bed to an olympic sized indoor pool then you should just give me all of your money because you’re wasting it
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
I`d like to thanks all the girls for wearing yoga pants. It is the only reason why we`re not complaining about how cold this winter it
Congratulations on becoming a homeowner! From now on, every noise you hear will cost you money.