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JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business.
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
Convincing my dog I really threw the ball is the closest I’ll ever get to being a magician.
When you have the opportunity to become a bigger person, take it because cake is delicious.
My right thumb is in the best shape of my life.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
There is 2 address we will always know by heart, 1: Our Own, and 2: P. Sherman 42 wallyby way Sydney!
I bet cats are mad they can’t sit on televisions anymore.
Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person ... apparently they call that stalking.
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store asked to come back soon.
If you play my workday backwards, it`s actually a nice story about idiots getting less and less annoying.
If you`re going to stalk me at least notice when I`m running low on toilet paper & change the roll.
I think my phone has a Miley virus,It stopped twerking