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I love work; it fascinates me. I can sit and watch folks do it for hours.
I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Now what`s funny is "Si" from Duck Dynasty
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
My neighbor thinks I`m crazy and that I`ve been stalking her. well at least that`s what her diary says.
The problem with this generation boils down to this one thing: Their cartoons suck.
Tip of the day: When the cop asks you if you had anything to drink in the last 24 hours, do NOT ask them for the time... trust me
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
Ferris Bueller did more in one day than I’ve done in my entire life.
I`m no auto mechanic but I`m pretty good at letting people who drive behind me know whether or not they need new brakes
I went outside once. The graphics were amazing but the gameplay and storyline were TERRIBLE.
It is amazing how quickly kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, dishwasher, or vacuum cleaner.
If you grew up wanting to be a Plumber or a Pizza delivery boy, You watched too much porn as a kid.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.