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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
There`s a fine line between crazy and free spirited and it`s usually a prescription.
OK. If you`re so smart, what`s the answer to this question?
Appearing on several episodes of Cops doesn`t make you a TV star.
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
I don`t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands.
Grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot, and a big-a$$ed pitcher of margaritas as β€œPlan B”
I`m available if anyone needs me to ruin a good thing before it even starts.
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
Does anyone have plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?
Marriage. The world`s oldest form of identity theft.
If you feel bad because you didn’t do well on a final, just remember someone from your hometown is still trying to become a rapper.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
I’m watching this show on stalkers, still haven’t seen any of you yet.