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Partying on my level requires years of training.
I just passed the local college and saw 3 very fit young ladies with very tight yoga pants walking to class...I have never been so motivated to return to college.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
Don`t give me a sec, give me lots of secs.
Judging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed, I`m assuming it`s Monday.
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
Kinda surprised I`m not an action figure by now.
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
Remember, you can always run from your problems. Unless your problem is a Cheetah.....then you`re screwed!
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
I inherited my dad`s sense of humor. He`s not funny either.
Does the employee manual say I CAN`T set up my camping tent inside my cubicle? No? Then please step outside & zip the door up behind you.