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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
Attn Single people: If marriage was so great, there would be 6 people on the internet right now.
Hey chicks that only post inspirational shit: we know you’re nuts.
I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...
I`m great at spelling bees ... But hopless at spelling other words.
Warning: I just get weirder.
I wonder what Facebook employees do at work to waste time.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
If at first you don’t succeed, look in the trash for the instructions.
Two drunk guys driving down the road, One says to the other "We must be getting closer to town!" The other guys says, "How can you tell?" He says "Were hitting more frickin people."
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Sorry a remote fell out when you took off my bra
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out